The Week That Was: Pakistan and terrorism, North Korea and Hollywood, and Sunny Leone again!

The Week That Was takes a contrarian and nonsensical view of the events of the past week

Published: December 21, 2014 12:38 PM IST

By Nirmalya 'Nemo' Dutta

The Week That Was: Pakistan and terrorism, North Korea and Hollywood, and Sunny Leone again!

The Week That Was takes a contrarian and nonsensical view of the events of the past week. This week was dominated by Pakistan’s ‘strong’ stance on terrorism, North Korea calling the shots in Hollywood and the return of the maid-loving Indian diplomat – DevyaniKhobragade.

Pakistan and its anti-India stance!

The entire world watched in shock as Taliban unleashed hell on the Army Public School in Peshawar killing over 150 innocent children. While everyone expressed its solidarity with Pakistan during this horrific affair, Pakistan showed its strong anti-terrorism stance by granting bail to LET co-founder and 26/11 mastermind Zaki-ur-RehmanLakhvi!

While outrage from the Indian government grounded Lakvhi and saw him detained for three more months, it does send a very sad message to the entire world. Hillary Clinton had said in 2011: ‘It’s like that old story – you can’t keep snakes in your backyard and expect them only to bite your neighbours. Eventually those snakes are going to turn on whoever has them in the backyard.’It’s interesting to note the parallels between Indian and Pakistani leaders. Just like Mamata who likes to blame everything on Maoists and CPM, Pakistan’s Musharraf and 26/11 mastermind blamed the Peshawar attack on India!

It’s just a Hindu world!

It’s nice to know that like the ISIS and Taliban, Hinduism also has its stalwarts who are fighting the good fight. When they are not carrying out mass conversions, the VHP likes to discuss world history. According to the stalwarts at the VHP, Arabia, Europe and Africa were all Hindu areas and there used to be 7 billion Hindus and now there are only 1 billion. Oh and they’ve also taken an ISIS-like oath to convert the entire world to this great religion!

The return of the maid-lover

DevyaniKhobragade, who likes her apartments cheap and maids cheaper, was recently taken off her duties as the director of partnership development division by Ministry of External Affairs. Her interview with a news channel was deemed to be disruptive to Indo-US relations, which has been all lovey-dovey since Modi expressed his love for Star Wars at Madison Square Garden! Now if only the Centre could take similar action against politicians and religious leaders who say stupid things!

The Year of the Leone

There’s one thing that Indians just can’t get enough of – Sunny Leone! In a year where NaMo dominated politics and Salman-SRK dominated the box office, the most searched Indian celebrity was Sunny! She was also the most searched on Pornhub.com and YouTube, which means that horniness trumps everything – religion, politics, sports and movies! The only reason she doesn’t have more Facebook likes and Twitter followers is the fact that we are a nation of hypocrites, who will never admit to our guilty pleasure in public!

When North Korea called the shots in Hollywood

A silly Hollywood movie by Sony Pictures starring James Franco and Seth Rogen was shelved because of North Korean hackers who promised to wreak havoc on any theatre that showed the movie. A message from the hackers read:  ‘The world will be full of fear. Remember the 11th of September 2001. We recommend you to keep yourself distant from the places at that time. (If your house is nearby, you’d better leave.) Whatever comes in the coming days is called by the greed of Sony Pictures Entertainment.’ It’s indeed sad that the right to make stupid stoner movies was taken away from a democracy by an obscure dictatorship.

PS – Kim, bro, since you clearly call the shots in Hollywood, can you please also get them to cut down on remakes and sequels; I don’t want the old classics ruined again and again!

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