Kick film review: Salman Khan is kick-ass; his Kick – the movie – isn’t!

Replete with Salman Khan’s trademark fan-pleasing moments, Sajid Nadiadwala’s directorial debut worships the antics of its megastar in the loudest possible way. While Salman is seen kicking some bad asses in every second frame (that makes him Kick-ass, technically speaking, Ha!), Nadiadwala’s directorial brilliance sedates your senses!

Let me begin this review with a categorical disclaimer that this piece is not a rant against the year’s most awaited release. After all, one doesn’t walk into the theater to watch a Salman Khan starrer hoping to fetch some select-Shakespearean quotes or expecting to get enlightened with an esoteric cinematic nirvana. It’s a Salman movie in the end, and you know in your head what you are likely to be served on the platter.

Make no mistakes, I enjoyed bhai’s Dabangg in all its Chulbul Pandey glory. Wanted, Bodyguard and Ready were watchable in parts and made me giggle, nevertheless. These were ridiculously crazy movies, but they were good fun. Sadly, Sajid Nadiadwala’s Kick disappointed me in more ways than one. Honestly speaking, I felt cheated. I felt used!

Main dil mein aata hoon, samajh main nahi!” goes a dialogue from Nadiadwala’s directorial debut Kick-starring Salman Khan, Jacqueline Fernandez, Randeep Hooda and Nawazuddin Siddqui. As bhai mouths that line just before the end credits start rolling, one wonders if that dialogue was placed (unintentionally, of course! ) to sum up the ‘Sallu-fest’ one had to sit through (to review Kick ) only to be left with a numb butt and sedated senses. Such is the ‘hangover’ of Salman’s latest offering that no ‘kick’ will ever pull you out of the exhaustion this one gives you.

The plot:  Devi Singh (Salman Khan) is not your average Joe. Blessed with supreme intelligence, incredible idiosyncrasies and the eternal hunger for a kick-the much needed rush of adrenaline he needs out of every situation he throws himself into, Devi is a stud born with a heart of gold. The man can’t commit himself to any job and but he is ever-ready to offer help for the larger cause.

Life is full of action and unimaginable thrills for our hero, until he falls in love with a psychiatrist (Jacqueline Fernandez), thanks to a kick-offering, chance encounter. It doesn’t take long for Devi to turns into Devil when he realizes that it’s the money that makes the world go round. And now he needs more than his fair share of ‘kicks’ to make a living. Devi disappears from his lady love’s life.

In the mean time, a cop with commendable credentials (Randeep Hooda) is on a relentless hunt, looking for a man who is responsible for giving him a hard time. Hooda’s otherwise squeaky clean image gets tarnished thanks to a certain Devil who is on the loose. Steps in the bigger baddie ( Nawaz) with a menacing laugh and  deadlier plans to trap Devil in. Hooda, Nawaz and Jacqueline are looking for the same man who as elusive and he is intelligent.

 What went wrong?

The story looks good on paper-as indeed in the trailer. On the big screen though, with all its major loopholes and nauseating screenplay, it has turned into a mindless action drama. It is understood that like any other Salman film, Kick too offers never ending maar-dhaad, over-the-top emotions, high-pitched characters and juvenile jokes all packaged in the form of a mass entertainer. These elements are, in fact, very intrinsic in the design of this kind of venture. But you start feeling nausea once the silliness and the flat story-line start getting on your nerves.

Watch Kick only if you are looking for-or else, will be happy with-the following offerings 

Salman, Salman, Salman!

It’s the Eid equivalent to ‘entertainment, entertainment, entertainment!’ Kick offers Salman Khan in almost every sequence, shot and frame. We see Salman-the charmer, with a scorching screen presence, in every scene. He almost plays himself throughout the movie to the extent that even while doing the emotional scenes his shoulders never slouch. Even when he pleads or kowtows, his ‘muscle memory’ just doesn’t allow him to be the character he portrays. Come what may, the puffy chest and the bowling-ball shoulders stay resolutely stiff to signify the blunt bhai-speak.

What works brilliantly well though is Salman’s camera presence and the ease with which he sleepwalks through this brain-dead plot. The 48-year-old knows how to draw those wolf whistles and loud cheers from the audiences. And this time around he withdraws those those mandatory responses without wiggling his belts, jiggling  the back-pockets of his pants or by moving  the collar of his starry shirt.

 Jacqueline Fernandez is lava hot!

India’s best Sri Lankan import looks lava-hot in a movie which is not essentially designed for her. She flutters eyelashes, flashes gentle smile and dances ( and how! Thanks to that special wild dance moves sequence placed to showcase the girl’s hot moves and long legs) The beauty has done justice to her role. She romances The mask of Zorro-esque star and looks pretty.

Dishy Randeep Hooda and promising Nawazuddin

While the former underplays, the latter displays theatricality when needed. While Hooda is subtle, restrained and effective in his role as the cop, Nawaz oscillate between being over-the-top and being subtle at the same time.

Opulent songs!

High-production values make this venture easy on the eye. Be the scenic location of Poland or the opulence of it’s songs, Kick indulges whole- heartedly in creating the stuff regular escapist fanfares are made of. Every minute detail that has gone into it- from crafting couture to creating visual spectacle make this otherwise average movie look rich and colourful. Songs are beautifully shot and they are very elaborate indeed in terms of the visual delight they offer.

The Big let downs:

1 A devil is never a devil in our movies. A thug is never a thug in Kick. Every vicious twist and every menacing character (especially when that happens to be a hero) there has to be a back story to go through.

2. Our self righteous man is filled with heroic virtues to the-brink and he never earns big buck to impress his girlfriend (or to win her back by proving his mettle), but to find a bigger purpose…err a bugger kick rather- to serve humanity, you see, by ‘Being Human’ first. With Salman being the protagonist, it only makes the conclusion interesting. Just imagine how diligently he sticks to that formulaic plot.

3. An explosion a minute- with cars, planes and buses involved- without a concrete plot or griping sequences only stretches the duration of the movie and tests you patience endlessly. ( But nothing can compete watching a sloshed Salman Khan employing his self-choreographed, silly dance moves for an interesting viewing!)

Our verdict:

Kick could be a classic case study on how the Dabangg dude keeps churning out cores even by sleepwalking through a movie that demands to leave your brains at home. Watch it if you are a hardcore Salman Khan fan—or just to get a glimpse of the megastar’s devotees squealing with joy as their demigod unleashes his kicks in a movie that takes our intelligence for granted and tests our patience simultaneously! 

Our rating : 2.5  STARS

 

  • salman

    This writer is getting screwed every place he puts his reviews!! He hasnt mentioned anything about the movie…Whats bad?? Did u even watch it it?? I dismiss this biased guy!! He has been paid!

    • Ronak Parmar

      Tum dekhkar review lekhna shuru kardo bhai

    • hitesh

      hello Mr. Salman Salim Khan,
      if this is your full name, please acchasa review dedo. kuchh toh achha ho aaj, is movie ko dekhne ke baad, saal weekend kharab ho jayega nahi toh.

    • hitesh ka baap

      Behen ke lund teri maa ko chut me funsi hitesh randwe! Bhenchod tu koi movie dekhke nahi aaya hai gaandu, faltu maa mat chuda bhenchod apna ghar ka address de agar gaand me dam hai to. Sahi dio.

  • shofi

    i think he is just sargay Fan…. don’t event watched the movie.

    • hitesh

      ohh, so Mr.Oscar Jury. you watched it? liked it? could you please give me my money back i spent on this idiotic, imbecile movie.

  • HonestAbe

    This writer is a SRK fan (probably in his payroll) and always bashes Aamir and Salman in Bollywood life portal.

    • hitesh

      Jai ho HonestAbe baba ki,

      baba, jara batao toh. yeh film 200cr banayegi ya 400cr? aap kuchh madat nahi karoge Sallu bhai ko target pura karne mein?

  • KPS

    It seems the critic got a gigantic kick on his butt by salman…visit a psychatrist dude…Kick would be a runaway hit.

  • Salgay zindabad

    the cheap actor of film industry making a cheap film…..the copy cat chutiya of Indian film industry……….he should be kick away for making such kind of cheap movies……..

    • jack

      are salman ne south say copy kiya.srk k to bollywood say copy karta hai like.don,devdas,badsha,ashoka,aur srk k ne to marathi movie bhi copy ki hai peheli..salman to paras hai jisko chu le sona bana de.hi is the best and real king

  • vivek

    ye review ka review -10 par chala jaayega paisakhor reviewer

  • vivek

    only salman the biggest star is enough

    • hitesh

      why do you go and watch movies at all. you guys dont need anything apart from Salman photo and a chanting recorder.

  • samir

    u really think ki salman ki movie ko uske fan tere jaise 3rd class bande ka review dekhkar decide karege
    na salman na uske fans ko need hai kisi b critic ke review ki

    • hitesh

      sahi hai bhai, you guys dont even need brain.

    • jack

      sahi bola bhai.jalne do jalne walo ko.jitna jale gi utna salman bahi ki takdir khilegi..sabko jhatka lag raha hai.salman is the best

  • Devil

    Prathmesh Jadhav, earn your bread and butter by writing poor reviews. Bhai is sky where you can never reach.

    • hitesh

      Bhai is really sky. powerful than ‘Law&Order’ of this country. thinks himself an ideal human even being one of the worst inhuman actor in social life (check history). thanks to you guys.

      • jack

        ab history to salman bhai hi banye ge na usme check kya karna..

  • Ronak Parmar

    abke uska kon bura bolta hai. Uski film ghatiya hai to bechara writer kya kare.

  • Ronak Parmar

    good review man

  • hitesh

    Salman sir got some ‘magicwand’ like Harrypoter. Itni kharab movies karke bhi, log mare ja rahe hai Sallu bhai ki pooja karne mein. Sallu Sallu karne se pehle. i would request every sallu fan to get out of hypnosis state and use your brain (sajid’s)

    • Tina

      MAM, U REALLY GOT NERVE to response to each member’s remarks given, U must be enjoying by replying to every person’s remarks by letting down Salman Khan to such a level , So whts ur problem men, whether his movie works or not, have u paid Salman Khan to work in this movie, that u criticizing Salman Khan, I have seen ur remarks even other forum too.Don’t u have any works other than insulting people. Tell me what r u, what have achieved so far in your life, Losser

      • hitesh

        Hello Tina Mam,

        i am a frustrated audience, who desperately tried to get a first day first show ticket, after loosing almost 1-2 hrs finally got it for almost 600rs (snacks extra). and then when i see the movie its not worth even 60rs. tell me dont i have the rights to say what i feel about movie? have you Salman fans introduced some atrocity law or what in this country? anyone who insults (actually i am telling what i felt, take it or leave it) will be hanged?. your question did i paid Salman? yes, appros 540 rs extra for sure. I praise good shows rather than actor, now as i devotee of Salman will you pay me 540rs, if not then, just keep reading my comments.

        • Tina

          But ur remarks does not say such thing , ur feedback r of a hater dude, for instance whenever u get chance to get insult people whom u don’t like at all, u go on insulting . same way u r remarks shows and say it all. Rather then insulting the person, u should have mention ,people,i saw the movie, but it is not worth it, so its ur choice guys, Finally i am not going to pay u , Coz, when u r not Salman khan fan how could u risk of spending such amt, u should have waited for the review rather the wasting ur money, So whose fault is that?

          • hitesh

            i am targeting Salman, coz this entire film is fabricated around Salman only to show him a messiah. look at Siddiqui, sajid has wasted him as well such a good actor. you are right i am a hater of Salman, surely confirmed after this movie. when being Salman Fan u can spend time reading my comments why cant i write more then. you heard demand and supply theory?. frankely coz i dont understand what is that this guy has, doing nothing is life (except earning) and you guys devote yourself to him. have read his full biography, please go and read his sins.

          • Father Of Hitesh

            Asshole Hitesh If you dont like Salman khan then dont go and watch a movie of salman khan. salman didnt told you to watch his movie and buy a ticket of 600 INR. So get the fuck offf dude and if you dont like to watch movies of salman then go watch “Hercules” and shut the fuck up.
            Idiot…

          • hitesh

            Wow, u look really pissed off. :-) u changed ur nameJust to reply me ;-)

            One more thing. Theatre hall kya tumhare sallu ke baap ki hai?. Aisi ghatiya movie woh apne ghar me dikhaye. Rated ‘onlyforsalmanstupidfans’. Aur tum logon ki life ka moto hoga aise ghatiya actor ko crore banane mein help karna. Mera nahi hai. Sale psychos jo bhi sallu ke against bole woh jaruri hai kya srk ka fan ho. Sale tum log ki life ke apne khudke problem nahi kya? Jo aise budhe 3rd grade actor ke liye itna faila ke baithe ho. Ch’tiye apna real name likhne mein sharm ati hai kya ya fatati hai :-)

          • Plzbesane

            Teena ji,

            Its not about liking or disliking any person, logic is the way these guts are taking or senses for granted and expecting us to digest all his non sense movies one after another, to me, i would love to put this review for all his movies starting with Ready, Dabangs, Bodyguards, Ektha tiger , jai ho….after all these movies he still can come up with something similar, i’ll call this audacity, and thats what people here are worried about. Furthermore, i was relaxed that few kids, few girls, and a lot of uneducated youth composes his fan base, but to my utter shock and disbelief, so many people who can read and write English, and are visible users of Internet, even they get sentimental to the die hard extent about this kind of below par cinema, i wonder if any of these people have even tried in their life to see HBO/World movies, because for me, even the dubbed chinese movies are even bitter written and directed by some of this junk dished one after the other by Salman.

        • Rahul

          fully agree with u hitesh

  • hitesh

    respected Vivek sir, looks like you have already watched movie mutiple times or are you still in theatres watching back to back shows.? no? are yaar yeah toh bhai ka insult hai, go beta in theatres and dont come out till one week. bhai ko boxoffice record banane mein madat nahi karoge? you should help

    • jack

      tumne ki na chnnai express jaisi bakwas movie ko help.ab hum kick jaise amezing movie ko help kar rahe hai to tumara ky ja raha hai?salman is the grate humman being.

  • hitesh

    are bhai ‘bahut kharab taste’ ki ‘kharab taste’ se compare karke kya milega?

  • hitesh

    nahi beta. yeah toh kuchh nahi. aapna real talent dikhao. kuchh aur gandi galiya do. duniya ko tumhara talent dikhao, come on!!

  • hitesh

    bahut sahi ja rahe ho. thats something new, wow what a talent!!

    • Vikas

      sala.. ye hitesh ko kuch kaam nahi hain.. ya SRK ne paise diye hain ye sab karne ke bhai.. tujhe nahi pasand to thik hain na.. y r u trying to change someone else’s views..everyone has his own choice

      • hitesh

        trying to change views? reply dena matlab original comment ko edit karna hai kya? kahase ho yaar tum?

      • hitesh

        Vivek, so r u on official duty of spending time on this forum? mere liye bhi vacancy hai kya dekh na yaar

    • Harry

      abey chup kar ja…bahut der se Salman ke baare me kuchh bhi bole ja raha hai….itni hi problem hai tujhe salman se toh saale movie dekhne hi kyun gaya?

      • Briz

        Yeah sure why did you go to that movie, surely you had expected big. you already know what type of actor he is then how could you expect difference from him better be careful next time.

  • Rahul

    itni ghatiya movie aaj tak nhi dekhi yaar, pure Rs. 210 bekaar or sath me pura weekend bhi.

  • hitesh

    Tell me one thing with your brain sense boss, what is it good about Salman you follow him. first your turn, if reply i will prove you what he really is with records.
    stop being bunch of sheep bro. for now lets stick to this movie. and it is really bad.

    • http://www.addspace.co.in Jahir Kameel

      First of all i am sure still you are not been able wath the movies. True Salman Fan will not allow you to see because you are not kind of. Don’t make sense from a movie, it’s only made for entertainment purposes for Viewer side and for earning purpose from producer side. Kind of present you have here it’s look like a SRK Fan boy. Or you are being paid to do this. If you don’t like the movie simply you can show it in one comment. Your behavior showing that you are being jealous. What the benefits of it. You Can’t do this. If SRK fail to perform or worked in third class script then he can’t overcome. People will left srk on theater. But bro it’s SALMAN you don’t need to use your brain in his movies and fan always know that after that they are fan of a person who have a golden heart. Not chichora like #selfishrukhkhan

      • Hitesh

        Jahir bhai, first Eid-mubarak.

        Yaar jaruri hai kya salman ko har ghatiya movie pe wah wah karna. I have seen many of his good movies also. Aur srk ?? Aur yeh kya baat hui? Salman hater hai toh SRK fan hoga?. Aur srk chichora hai toh sallu bhai kya dudh ke dhule hai? Yaar tum log kuchh bhi news etc. Chanels nahi dekhte ho kya? Sabse jyada FIR registered sallu pe hi hai pure bollywood mein. Label ko follow karna band karo aur brain use karo.

        • http://www.addspace.co.in Jahir Kameel

          May be you are not. If you then it’s not the matter to deal with you. As a person i respect everyone’s thoughts, thinking, ideology. I have the only one complain about your jealousy of kind of. Why you favor anything which is against Salman. That’s kind of hater only can be a SRK fan. May be you are not but you are behavior is like that. I have problems in your repeated reply on everyone like, desire about Salman. In social world. Leave you present in feature touch. Don’t be vulgar in your opinion. If you ask I’m kinda fan of Salman Khan for his attitude, behavior, glamor. I know he is a worst actor in bollywood. But The Tiger Entertainer in Bollywood. In terms of brain. I don’t need to know about that. I DON’T NEED ANY OPINIONS Because I AM LIVING MY LIFE AND NO ONE CAN LIVE BETTER THAN ME AND I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO. I NEVER FOLLOW ANY CELEB FOR INSPIRATION. MYSELF IS ENOUGH FOR THIS. I USED TO SEE JUST FOR ENTERTAINMENT. I MARK YOU AS A SRK FAN BOY BCOZ I SEEN ON RELEASE DAY OF KICK SOME OF SRK FAN BOY DRAMATICALLY ACTIVE ON TWITTER TO PROTEST AGAINST KICK. IT’S SRK’S BEHAVIOR, SALMAN OR SALMAN FAN NEVER DID IT.

          AND EID MUBARAK TO YOU ALSO.

  • alok

    very bad u people I don’t know what u expect each cast in kick was excellent and how can u change ur rating 3.5 to 2.5 HAMSHAKL ANT THIS SAME RATING WHAT Was in Chennai ex but U PEOPLE PLS DONT WATCH IF U ALL R FROM OTHER WORLD PLS PUBLISH MY COMMENT ALSO KICK IS NOT 1 TIME WATCH 5OR4.5STAR

  • Angita Barui

    I Love U Salmajn Khan.

  • Tapan Ray

    A dog only lifts up the skirt of ladies as salman khan did. Every film has got some educational value beside entertainment. What he teaches in that item song to the youngsters only he and the director knows.

  • Sudha

    i saw some people commenting negatively about KICK, how foolish people are you.., take D3, tell me any one what is there in D3, it is the most BAKWAAS FILM in this world, I was waiting to see how Aamir robs the bank, there is nothing shown in that about how robs the bank, also i was so anxiety to see the great indian magic trick, finally he brought a judwaa and made the audience fools, So all people first i request say to remove the STUPIDITY of ur mind, then compare KICK & D3, iN Kick, i observed each and every scene, director made a meaningful connectivity between each and every scene, there is a good message in that film, nice comedy part, and action is also good, the scene about the little girl, i don’t have words to praise that scene songs also good. In D3 except bike riding there is nothing, with D3 audience ko vullo banadiya director ney, ( no bank rob scene/ no trick in great indian magic, no comedy, no story, no message)

  • Sudha

    And chennai express,is no way to match with KICK, Chennai Express is the same OLD BAKWAAS LOVE STORY, are there no other stories in this world expect to make films on just only love.., think guys, directors are making cash with the foolishness of people, They take the LOVE make a story around LOVE, make the audience fools. People wake Up ………>>> just watch those where there is talent….

  • Sudha

    In the entire KICK film i was waiting to see the how salman gets the kick, i was just waiting to see what is his kick, what is the kick what is kick…… finally when i when i saw what the real kick is……… WOW WOW WOW…………… hats off to the film, hats off to Salman..

  • Pingback: air max one femme

  • Pingback: canada goose soldes